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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25148998">shards of glass on the shore</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bulut/pseuds/bulut'>bulut</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hunter X Hunter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Depression, Introspection, M/M, Wordcount: 100-1.000, post-2011 anime</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:13:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>567</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25148998</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bulut/pseuds/bulut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>They make your heedless feet bleed.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gon Freecs &amp; Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>shards of glass on the shore</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>happy late birthday, killua...</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>(Gon's first birthday since he came home after the Chimera Ant incident, at the beach.)</p><p>Mito-san was enthusiastic about the first time they got to celebrate Gon's birthday together in two years. There were still no kids around Gon's age on the island who they could invite, but that stopped being a problem a long time ago. He wouldn’t have been able to find it in himself to talk to any of them anyway.</p><p>His aunt, his great-grandmother, cake. More than enough.</p><p>And as he’s been suspecting for some time now, more than he deserves.</p><p>Gon had a lot of time to think, once he came home and rode the high of having finally met his father till he was drained.</p><p>It wasn't in his nature to hold grudges; the only time he ever did was cut short by the bargain he made with his life. Nobody left to hold grudges over or against.</p><p>Yet a small part of his brain. A small part that made his chest tighten in hollow pain when it spoke, because it spoke in Killua's voice. A small part told him, it was Ging's fault.</p><p>Ging's fault for keeping up the game for too long, going one step too far; Ging's fault how that last attempt at finding Ging teleported them to yet another place where Ging wasn’t. So Ging thought it cowardice that Gon wanted to bring a friend along. It was so clear he’d never had a friend. A real one.</p><p>Trying to find a father should never be made into a showdown. Nobody should have to prove their worth for a father to accept meeting them.</p><p>It's true that he never really thought of Ging as his father, but the one fact stood. Unchangeably, regrettably, as something for Gon to hate till he breathed his last breath, the fact stood that Ging was his father. He clearly considered himself so if he didn’t severe the ties between them; if he left clues to collect, footsteps to follow. And Ging had no business setting up an obstacle course from Gon to himself. He should have either taken Gon or left him, as the saying goes.</p><p>Now Gon has to live in the noise of his conflicting emotions for the rest of his life. Because, yes, Ging's immature game was what made Gon push a friend beyond a point where he could pull him back and expect no consequences. The rope between him and Killua <em>had</em> been fraying, each time Gon did something thoughtlessly a slash of blade on it, but for it to break so soon? They went into a war, a war they wouldn’t have even known about if it hadn't been for Ging. And the last game he'd played with Gon. With them.</p><p>Yet.</p><p>Would he have met Killua if not for (the absence of) Ging?</p><p>Gon’s too scared to touch this hypothetical question even with his fishpole.</p><p>Small, slimy fish find their way around his legs. Mito-san and his great-grandmother are waiting at home. (Home.) He should go.</p><p>But, he realises with mild shock, he doesn’t want to go.</p><p>Where Killua isn’t, Gon realises with hot tears filling his eyes, he doesn’t want to go.</p><p>-</p><p>(The last minutes of Gon’s birthday, in bed.)</p><p>Nobody called or wrote to celebrate his birthday, because he never told anyone when it was.</p><p>And he never asked Killua when <em>his</em> was.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>english is not my first language, so there might be awkward expressions, wrong usages of past simple vs past perfect tense, etc. thank you for reading.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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